Am I writing different?

Life has phases

I know we all go through

The hardest part is wining 

Then losing what you worked for

But you have to lose to gain

Thats where that unsettling

Pain that is not to be hidden from

No matter how you try to cover it

So many distractions

Everything piles up

Cant tell when enough is enough

Just waking up get tough

In a mind state of misconstruction

Everything is everything and nothing is something

There is always one thing

How do I release

Feeling trapped....

Until I started working on me 

Pulled out the magnifying glass

Turned it into a selfie stick

Sat in the sun

Let it burn a bit 

So many layers 

So many players

So many things

I could name them but   

Im still sorting things

Restoring things

Replacing thing

Erasing things is impossible

But thats what removable storage is for

Take it out my hard drive

Put it in a box

It will always be there 

But in that box

It will free me release another layer

I am learning to breathe 

I suffocate

I hold my breath sometime so long

I know my brain loses oxygen 

I feel muzzled

I feel puzzled

Seems like I am moving backward

But im not

Because I am allowing myself to feel

Beyond the surface of just feeling good or bad

Feeling ok or fine

I am emerging myself in myself

I confess that this level of vulnerability 

Is what got me here

But it is also what left me

Leaning gradually

VULNERABLY 

Eyes peeled back this time

I wont run or hide from what I see